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One of my coworkers left. It is just an expiration of her term of office. I wanted to say that "See you again sometime!", but I didn't. I guess I can't see her again. It’s a cold, hard fact. She is excellent. She kept trying, even if she was in hard times. In fact, she always struggled with difficult situations because of horrendous orders from her (former) boss but made it in most cases. I respect her. I have to say I miss her still now, but she should not stay my place of work. She has her own world that is very different from mine, so I had nothing to do for her. I silently saw her off. I was so dissapointed about that.

I had been taking an English lesson almost once a week, but I quit it yesterday. My health problem is one of causes to do that. Over the last 3 months or so, I don't feel good and am tired because of my busyness. I think it is an enough reason to quit, but I have others. I created a relationship with a teacher and enjoyed my lesson time, but I started to feel something was wrong from a couple of months ago. I actually found that my teacher seemed uncomfortable during the lessons. After a few more weeks, I clearly realized that my teacher didn't want to have any sessions with me. My teacher might misunderstand me. I never be interested in my teacher's private life. I just wanted to  learn  English.
 
Anyway, I sent a mail yesterday to tell my decision. My former teacher gave kind words to me, but I felt opposite nuance. I believe that I did a necessary thing with each other.

Lan and I talked about construction tonight. I told her one of my terrible experiences about construction.

About 10 years ago, I worked on a construction company as one of sales people. One day, I had to make a working drawing to construct some sorts of facilities, even though I had no experience to design such things. First, I tried to find a suitable person to do that task, but no one could help me. Ultimately I had to made up my mind to do it by myself. After that, I started to learn basic principles from a couple of books as quick as possible. Fortunately, I had enough knowledges about those facilities, so I only needed to learn how to make working drawings. After about 50 hour, I finished all of my tasks somehow.

That is just one of my terrible experiences, and all things are brought by my curiosity. I sometimes have to face such situations, but I realized that my ability always gains a new possibility after hard experiences. It is not bad to find a new world.

It's too late now for regret. I failed to enjoy the astronomical event, because I worked... ridiculous! I know there will be next chance , but I will have to wait for 3 years. I am disgusted with myself for my poor memory.

Anyway, the moon is always in the sky. I have to believe next chance.

A month has passed since I posted previous entry. I'm struggling to get accustomed to new job environment. Actually, my new occupation is almost the same as previous one, but tasks are quite different. I have to fill many roles. For Instance, I have to design graphics, program small applications by PHP or Perl, review system  specifications, write documents in English, and discuss many kinds of strategical matters. Briefly, I am busy, just busy. I always have deadlines, and tasks never reduce even if I completed them all every day.

I already knew that joining with a start-up is always hard, so it's no problem. I feel it is like a marathon. To keep my own pace is the most important thing to run on, and keep running is essential to business. I wake up at 6.30am every day, ware a suit, and also come to the office till 9am. If I was young and fresh guy, I couldn't find the way to do that.

I've signed a job offer from a certain company. It's just one of start-up companies, but I found huge potential in its business plan. It was a bit of luck that I could get the job offer from them, because I didn't know anything about that company two weeks ago.

Actually, I changed my job agent just two weeks ago. That's the opening of my story. I had a meeting with an executive recruiter, and was known a job opportunity by him. After reading the job description, I was so surprised, because the requirements completely corresponded to my skills, experiences and interests. I quickly understand that I am a suitable candidate, and decided to apply for the employment. Eventually, I had interviews three times a week, and each interview took over two or three hours. It was so hard for me, but it was necessary to understand with each other as quick as possible. I am assured that the company is reliable and suitable for me through such hard time.

It happened almost within a week. I think I am in a quite interesting situation. I will join that company next week.

Eventually, I refused offers that I already got. It means that I'm unemployed now, and have to search new job AGAIN.

Silence is often talkative. Japanese has suitable expression for it. "Read between the lines.". Saying without words sometimes conveys more things and sounds more emotional. It is a high contextual way to communicate, and I think it is a feature of east Asian culture. No Asian people tend to use obvious expressions when they say something. They know people can't previously share their own cultural background with each other, so they try to develop all things through the obvious sentences.

I sometimes feel it is too long and a little boring to say by low contextual way, but I can accept it. HAIKU is one of the most beautiful way to describe poetic emotions. Short and simple saying convey its meaning with atmosphere. I would really like to express by that elegant way, but it is very difficult. I have to keep trying.

Now, I'm a shadow listener of Berkeley University of California. I can learn computer science, even though I'm in Tokyo.

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I had never been computer science's student in my life, but I got chances to learn it. It's certainly amazing. I deeply appreciate their liberality.